I am not going to pretend that everything is OK. Today was not 'OK'. I am not looking for reassurance, support or comfort. I am angry, actually. A full day smothered in grief and sadness. A full day. I am just filling in time now. Get to 10 pm, head to bed and be done with it. Don't get me wrong, I saw what was out there to enjoy. I hoed my potato patch, attacking the weeds through tears and rage. I washed my floors, made enough meals for the next 3 days, worked on patient charts for three hours and reached out to a couple of family members. But I was not happy. I think I was triggered yesterday. It was my aunt's 79th birthday. She is developmentally handicapped. She lives in a long term care facility close to us. They remain COVID 19 free, thank goodness. She stood in a painted square on the grass on one side of a fence and we stood in a painted square on the other side of the fence. Not gonna lie. This was a terrible experience. She asked me for a hug just before we left. She reached through the fence. I think she understood why I could not reach back.
If we bring her home for a weekend, she cannot go back. My husband and I work full time. We cannot care for her at home. Tell me what happens if she dies in long term care. Does this mean we will never embrace her again? Yes, it does. Who is responsible for this? I have an answer to that question but I won't elaborate too much here. Part of the answer is greed. Please tell me how rich the already weathly need to be? Please tell me how far they will go to remain rich and powerful? Please tell me when we will protest against this. I exclude in this rant all the wealthy folks I know who give so much to our community. God Bless You.
For centuries, if not millennia, the gap between the rich and the poor has been massive. And in it fall the most vulnerable, like the women and children in resource poor countries devastated by HIV/AIDS and the disabled and elderly who have no voice at all that end up hidden in our long term care facilities where a virus waits to kill.
I am angry and frankly, some days I am tired of the fight. So tired.
The young woman in this image is Makhauta. I consider her my adoptive daughter. She is one of the children we care for in one of the foster homes that Bracelet of Hope supports. These homes are the responsibility of a remarkable pastor and church in Lesotho, Africa; the Apostolic Faith Mission Church and Pastor James Qhobela. Please do not see these people as helpless. They are not. They live in a developing country where centuries of racism and colonialism have left them struggling to survive. To whom much is given, much is expected. We help with the funding but they take care of the rest. They keep 51 children made orphaned or vulnerable by AIDS, alive.
In 2012, Makhauta was dying of AIDS. The country does not have easy access to the HIV medications that are used in North America and Europe. Another outrageous injustice. I knew which medications she needed. When I found out that she was near death, I reached out to Danny Liu, our HIV pharmacist. He donated $8,000 for an up-to-date HIV regimen and within a few days, a group of Guelph businessmen who traveled to Lesotho were walking up the steep hill to her foster home. They delivered the medications to her. Today she is 18 and very well, thank you very much.
Ahhhh, the sidelines where most of us live are so very comfortable. Even during COVID 19, most of us are still quite comfortable. Today, for about 8 hours, I wished I had stayed on the sidelines. The grief on the front lines in the fight for all the vulnerable people to have access to equal rights, education, effective healthcare and food security is sometimes too much to carry. No worries. I will push this off, turn the grief into rage and re-engage.....tomorrow.
More good news today. Yes, it was easy to find even in my sad state:
This week, the R value in Ontario was finally less than 1. Which means that every infected person is transmitting the virus to less than one new person. This is amazing news.
Ontario's health ministry reported 415 new cases of COVID-19 on Sunday, but only 192 were new cases. Two hundred and twenty-three were cases detected weeks ago but reported today.
Think of that number. One hundred and ninety-two is a great number. The overall cases in Canada was below 1,000 again today at 641. We are ready to safely re-open. Stay tuned to an update in the loosening of restrictions expected in the next two days.
Thanks for listening. Writing down how you feel and letting other people know, really, really helps.
Anne-Marie
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