This photo was taken today. I was unaware of the sign on the back of my chair. I was also unaware that the shot was taken. The person who did this, who is the other prescriber I share my office with, shall remain nameless.
I was not cranky or in a bad mood. I was recovering.... from crying.... over my carrots last night. As you know, I am a gardener. I usually find solace in hoeing. But last night I was distracted. I have been burying some deep emotion for weeks now. Not that I knew that last night. It became clear to me when my distraction made me a little disoriented and four 5 short seconds, I hoed an entire long row of tiny, tiny carrot plants. Yep, the whole row gone. Gardens take so much time and I love pulling the carrots out of the ground in October. When I looked down and realized what I had done, I felt this rush of emotion. I said to myself, rather audibly, " Don't you dare cry!". The last word was not out before the flood gates opened. There's me, leaning over my hoe, eyes full of tears, looking woefully at my torn up tiny carrot plants. That was about 7:30. I cried until 9 pm. I was quite astonished actually. Please don't give me sympathy. That cry was much needed and those emotions were better expressed over my carrots than suppressed in the deep recesses of my brain, looking for any maladaptive way to escape. I let the tears fall. I sobbed. I held my husband's hand. I drank tea and then it was over and I fell asleep watching some Netflix show I don't remember.
I don't hide much from my staff. We are a tight bunch. I told them the carrot story. The sign was Christine's way of acknowledging my hurt and anguish. It is right out there just like the rest of us. I feel better today and I have decided to be mindful of when I am telling myself to suck it up and move on. That works but not day after day for three months. Gotta let that stuff out, share it with someone else, and let it flow.
This whole COVID thing is extremely hard on so many complicated levels. We are all deeply affected by it. Ah, that's not entirely true. I examined a lovely 1 year old baby today who sat on her mother's lap bopping up and down, clapping her hands, squealing with delight for absolutely no particular reason at all; although she seemed to love my surgical cap covered in cats. She is happy. Thank God.
Please reach out if you are struggling. Please tell your painful story to someone else. That is how we heal. There is more hardship ahead of us. We are resilient and strong. We will get through it but it will hurt. Be kind to yourself and to others. Enough said. We need time for the good news.
Ontario's government reported 184 new COVID-19 cases today. It marks the third day in a row where Ontario has reported fewer than 200 cases. These are the numbers those freaky epidemiology people need to see to advise us as to how to safely leave our houses.
Premier Doug Ford said he "highly" recommends that Ontarians wear face masks if they are out in public and can't physically distance from others.
He is not making mask wearing mandatory. "We just don't have the manpower for bylaw and police officers to be chasing people without masks," he said.
He is a gusty leader. I think he will find a way to make them mandatory.
Ontario has now completed over a million COVID-19 tests since the start of the pandemic. We are outpacing all the other provinces in this arena now. Well done folks!
THIS IS IMPORTANT:
The number of resolved cases continues to outpace the number of new cases with 218 cases resolved in the last 24 hour period. That is an important and beautiful milestone.
We are getting ahead of this virus.
Here is some perspective and a reason why we should be so grateful for our brilliant leaders and why we should continue to fearlessly follow them.
Texas had 2,622 new cases today surpassing the previous record high of 2,504 on June 10.
Brazil reported a record high of 34,918 new cases... in the last 24 hours. Pray for Brazil and the USA.
Yes, we are doing great. But that won't last if we stop adhering to the guidelines these brilliant leaders have given us. Please wear a mask. Do it for the people around you. Do it so that we can stay ahead of this thing and keep people alive.
There is an increase in incidence of the virus in teenagers. Lockdown is very difficult for them. If your teenager has been out and about, take them in for testing.
Stay strong folks and if you need a good cry, I am planting more carrots tomorrow night. We can physically distance and cry in my garden.
Anne-Marie
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www.here4help.ca
CMHA WW Website: www.cmhaww.ca
Here 24/7 at 1-844-HERE-247 or www.here247.ca.
And for post-secondary students, Good2Talk
https://good2talk.ca/
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